Something make me change my mind, though. I was watching The Biggest Loser, and a father on the show (Ron, for those in the know) was talking about his role in his kids being overweight (he has two sons that are morbidly obese). He said that it was his fault they were so heavy – he showed them exactly how to get fat by being fat himself.
My weight has been a monkey on my back since I was a pre-teen. I consider myself a strong, smart woman. I had a successful career in Manhattan, I’m married, I have two kids, I run my own business. But the one thing I cannot control, the one thing I cannot beat, is my obsession with food.
I hide food. I binge. I go on diets and lose 20, 30, 40 pounds, only to slip up and gain all the weight right back. I started this journey yet again at my highest weight ever – 247 pounds. I’m not sure what’s going to make this time any different than the others. Maybe its this blog – even if no one reads it except me, at least I can dump all the crap here, rather than looking to food to make me feel better.
And that’s what got me. The last thing in the world I want is to see my two daughters go through what I’ve gone through my whole life. This weight has inhibited me, it has humiliated me, and it has kept me down when I should have been having the time of my life. I do not want that to be my daughters’ fates. So I know now that the only way to change that is to change myself.
So – here we go! Everyone buckled in? Good! This is going to be a twisty, windy path we’re taking, but if we all hang on tight, we’ll be okay, and just might make it to the end.